


smoke and mirrors

by black_queen (hotch_fan)



Series: Eccentric Superhero Boyfriends [11]
Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: ... or not, A Bit of Fluff, A little mystery, Banter, Bruce Wayne is a damn good actor, Canon - Movie, Conversations, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Deception, Established Relationship, First Meetings, Identity Issues, Kissing, Lies, Light Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Post-Avengers (2012), Secret Identity, Secret Identity Fail, Secrets, Some Humor, Teasing, a bit of making out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-07-19 02:49:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7341577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotch_fan/pseuds/black_queen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Cut the crap, Wayne. I know you're Batman."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> +The title was changed because I found one that fitted the story better. Sorry for any inconveniences.

Bruce knew something was wrong even before he reached the limousine he arrived in.

The chauffeur that drove him here was nowhere to be seen, and while he could very well be waiting inside, he should have stepped out by now to greet him and open the door for him. He supposed it was possible the man had fallen asleep while waiting for his return, but it wasn't likely.

The agency Alfred contacted to drive him around while he was in Florida was very serious and professional in its services--not to mention expensive--so it was unlikely that one of his drivers would do that. And he was a _Wayne._ They would have sent the best of the best for him.

Without halting his steps, Bruce scanned his surroundings discreetly. There was nothing out of the ordinary as far as he could see, but still he pulled his smartphone out of his pocket and texted Alfred. He sent a short, simple coded text to put the butler on alert.

If he didn't get back to him in the next ten minutes Alfred would tap into his phone and depending on what he heard would choose which of the measures they had devised previously he would implement.

You could never be too careful with these kinds of things, after all.

The smart thing to do would be return to the party and call security, or perhaps ask for assistance since his driver wasn't around to take him back to his hotel, but he did none of that. He couldn’t just turn around when the driver, Sebastian, could be in danger in this very second.

The billionaire tried the handle on the door, his heart rate picking up slightly when he found it wasn't locked. He disguised one last look at his surroundings by pretending to trip and grabbing the open door for support before climbing into the vehicle. Once inside, he took a moment to settle down before looking around the confined space out of the corner of his eye.

Bruce relaxed slightly when he identified the person inside the vehicle, even if his brain started working frantically trying to figure out why _he_ was here exactly.

Considering he was supposed to be at least a bit tipsy _and_ was a dense and flaky playboy, Bruce merely blinked as he lifted his eyes and found himself staring directly at the man sitting in front of him.

"Ooops! Sorry, wrong limousine. I guess I had one glass too many back there," He apologized with a chuckle, adding a small slur to his words to support his statement. "Don't worry. I'll just call my driver and be on my way."

The other man didn't stop him from pulling out his phone, nor reacted when he dialed the number; he merely watched him as the soft sound of a ringtone was heard from somewhere in the front.

Bruce cut the call and lowered his phone, looking back at the man. "I guess it is my car, after all."

The black man stayed still, not even blinking at any moment. Even if he wasn't sober, it was perfectly in character to show some fear at the unknown situation he was in, so Bruce fidgeted a little with his phone and swallowed hard before speaking.

"Is my driver okay?"

"I did not hurt your driver, Mr. Wayne," The man replied after a moment of tense silence.

He nodded, lips pressed together. The man's abilities and shady past did _nothing_ to make Bruce trust him, but he seemed to be telling the truth. Besides, he didn't believe a man affiliated with a group apparently committed to protecting the Earth and its people would hurt an innocent chauffeur when he was obviously here for him.

"Do you- need something from me?"

"I merely want to talk."

"You could have called my office to set an appointment instead of doing ... this," Bruce replied with a vague hand gesture. Brucie Wayne wasn't known for his caution or intelligent nature- much less when alcohol was involved , so it wasn't a stretch to think he was too stupid to really grasp the danger of the situation he was in, especially without a threat or weapon apparent yet.

"I don't make appointments, _Wayne._ And I don't think this is something you'll want to discuss in your office."

Bruce kept his expression relaxed, adding just a light touch of interest. He didn't like where this was going. He didn't like it one bit. Damn Tony from dragging him into this. Though if he was being honest, it was possible he drew the unwanted attention by himself.

Nick Fury stared right back at him. "I know who you are."

_Goddamnit!_

"I know. You called me by my name already."

Bruce wasn't exactly intimidated by the glare sent his way then, but he had to admit it was impressive. "That's not what I'm talking about. I know what you do with your nights."

"Oh. Are you trying to blackmail me? 'Cause what I do with my nights, as you put it, is pretty much in the public record. All you have to do is read the tabloids or look around the web to find it. And honestly, I don't remember having done anything particularly scandalous lately."

"Cut the crap, Wayne. I know you're Batman."

Bruce laughed. Head thrown back, he let the rich sound of his laugh resonate through the silent vehicle as he put years of Alfred's acting lessons to practice. He only hoped that was good enough to make his amusement at the accusation seem honest.

"Sorry. I'm not laughing at you, I swear." Bruce replied once he calmed down, eyes alight with laughter. "I have been accused of many things over the years, but this is definitely the strangest one yet."

Fury's face remained impassive as he glared at him.

He titled his head slightly to the side. "Who are you anyway?"

"You know who I am."

"Uh, is this a joke? Because I ..." Bruce trailed off with an almost comical widening of his eyes. "Did Tony send you?"

"Stark?"

"Of course he did," Bruce muttered to himself. Aloud, he said, "You can tell him I'm not impressed, and the answer is still _no."_

"What?"

"You see, Tony has this weird fetish about the Bat." Bruce waved a hand dismissively, letting out a dramatic sigh. "Don't ask me why because I honestly have no idea why he's attached to a nut job, but he is. And of course, he has some wild ideas about it that I've refused to even listen to."

"It's a great act you have here, Wayne," Fury stated slowly after a moment, voice hard and deep. "But you can't fool me."

Bruce beamed at him in return. "You're really good at this, you know. You almost made me believe that you really believe what you're saying. It's amazing."

He continued smiling even as Colonel Fury glared daggers at him. He grew up with _Alfred._ Of course a little glaring wasn't going to faze him.

"You can keep playing your little games, Wayne, but you're not going to get rid of me. We will talk without you hiding behind a mask." Fury growled. "It would do you good to remember I'm not a very patient man. And if I get tired of waiting for you to come forward, the outcome wouldn't be good for you."

The billionaire let his smile drop slightly under the man's hard glare. "You're pretty intense."

Fury scowled but didn't reply. He got up from the seat and kept glaring at him until he exited the limousine, leaving the door open.

"Well, that was strange," Bruce muttered to himself, letting his head fall back against the car's cushioned headrest, his eyes only half-closed.

In spite of the loose posture, he was far from being relaxed. He couldn't relax, no yet. It wasn't just the disclosure of his identity what prevented him--which he was trying very hard not to think about right now--but the fact he didn't know if it was safe. The man could have planted microphones or even cameras inside for all he knew.

It didn't seem like a practical move for Bruce considering he probably wouldn’t be using this limousine for long. It was very likely that as soon as the agency was contacted they would send another vehicle for him to use (for security reasons), but he couldn't just search right now to make sure of it without breaking character.

Bruce sat in the silence darkness for a moment, before opening his eyes fully and looking up at the ceiling.

"Hello? Is anyone here?"

Silence was his only answer.

With a sigh and a practiced struggle he slipped out of the limousine by the still open door and walked slowly to the passenger side. He leaned forward to uselessly peer through the tinted window before reaching for the door's handle.

Through the opened door he could see Sebastian. The man hadn't been wearing his seatbelt so he slumped over the steering wheel in an awkward position. Bruce winced a little. His neck wouldn't be thanking him for that once he woke up.

He climbed in, and even if he was unable to wake him up the fact the man's pulse and breathing were regular and that he didn't see any visible injuries made Bruce relax slightly. Carefully, he pushed the man back to lean against the seat before reaching for his smartphone, pressing speed dial number one.

"Master Bruce."

The corner of Bruce's lips twitched slightly at the relieved note he caught on Alfred's voice. Anyone who didn't know the butler wouldn't have picked on it, but of course he did.

"Hey, Alfred. We kind of have a situation," Bruce informed dutifully. He kept the slur and light tone to let his old friend know he was still in character.

"Are you alright, sir?"

"I'm fine, yeah, but I can't say the same about my driver for the night." Bruce looked back at the man. "He's unconscious right now."

There was a pause at the other end of the line. "Is he injured?"

"I don't think so? He looks fine, but I've tried to wake him up and he didn't even move."

"What happened, sir?"

"I'm not sure. There was someone waiting inside when I came back to the limo. He was weird but funny; had some pretty crazy things to say. I'll tell you about it when I get home. Maybe it was a prank or something?" Bruce asked mostly to himself. "Anyway, can you call someone or something? I'm kind of tired and want to go back to my hotel for some rest."

"Of course, sir. I shall contact the agency to inform them of what happened."

"Thanks, Alfred. You're the best."

Bruce slid his phone back into his pocket and with one last glance over at the chauffeur he settled down to wait.

As much as he hated to ask for help, he would need to call Clark and talk with him about this, Bruce thought morosely as he considered his options; plans to deal with this already forming in his head.

It would be relatively easy to get the Kryptonian to agree to don the cowl and suit for a few nights to at least make Fury and his people doubt their suspicions. Bruce would have expected to be presented with some kind of evidence if they had it, but still, it wasn't going to be easy. Fury must be pretty convinced to confront him like this.

Of course, he would need to take his time as to not make it seem like the obvious ruse it was after this confrontation, but well, he could use that time to train him. The billionaire almost groaned at the prospect.

Clark had the Bat's voice down already, as he liked to show much to Bruce's annoyance. His eidetic memory would help him remember some fighting routines or moves, and even if he didn't learn to fight like him, his powers and invulnerability made him the perfect choice.

Bruce would never even consider sending someone out there who could get hurt just to cover his own hide.

As long as Clark looked like he knew what he was doing it wouldn't matter if he used his powers to compensate for his lack of skills, though of course he would need to be discreet about it if he didn't want to raise even more questions. They were also pretty much of the same height and weight, so he wouldn't have to make modifications to any of his suits to fit him, which was a bonus.

With grim determination, Bruce made a mental note to call him once he returned to Gotham. Cut his trip short would only serve to make him more suspicious, and while his phone was secured with the best encryption possible he couldn't take risks now that he knew he was being watched.

And of course, he also needed to call Tony. That should be an interesting call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was fully inspired by the first three gift sets [here.](http://baledaily.tumblr.com/tagged/shaft) Seriously. That's all I needed to get my brain working. There may be a second chapter dealing with the eventual talk between Bruce and Tony, but we'll see ;)
> 
> This is unbetaed and I'm not a native speaker, so please feel free to point out any mistake you find.


	2. Chapter 2

The telltale metallic sounds of the Iron Man suit being removed sounded in the otherwise silent cave one minute or two after the motion sensors announced his arrival. It took a moment longer, but Bruce caught the soft sound of the approaching footsteps behind him.

"How was Paris?" He asked without turning around, eyes fixed on the bank of monitors arranged before him.

"Cold and very boring without you, cupcake." Tony's light voice answered him, still a few feet away from him. "You're such an asshole, sending me to the city of love all by my lone self."

"It was supposed to be a business trip, and Pepper was with you," He countered absentmindedly.

"Sure, and you know I love that woman almost as much as I love you, but it's so not the kind of love we're talking about here, darling. So, you own me."

With one last hit on the keyboard, Bruce swiveled in his chair; head tilted back to look up at Tony, a well-groomed eyebrow arched. "Is that so?"

"Yup. Now be a good sport and come up here to greet me properly."

With a smile tugging at the corner of his lips Bruce raised to his feet in a fluid motion. Meeting Tony's eyes, he lifted a hand to reach for his face, letting his thumb brush over his cheek before bringing their lips together. Tony's hand came to rest on his back as he moved his lips under his own, while Bruce's hand slid upward to cradle the back of Tony's head.

When they finally broke the kiss both were breathing heavily but remained close.

Tony wet his lips, thumb tracing circles on Bruce's hip bone above the waistband of his sweatpants. "I'm going to need a lot more than that to forgive you, you know."

"You're absolutely right. I should have gone with you rather than travel to meet with the CEO of the company WE is attempting to do business with, and also attend to the charity function organized by his wife to raise money to help finance the expansion of the oncology wing at one of the local hospitals."

"Damn straight," Tony agreed easily. "Anyway, how are you, honey? You look whole, but of course, I will need to take a closer examination to make sure you're not hiding any nasty surprises."

The lascivious twitch of Tony's lips as his brown gaze sweep up and down his body made Bruce roll his eyes.

"I haven't gone out on patrol since I returned."

"You flew back on Wednesday," Tony pointed out.

"Yes, and you know I don't like making it obvious Batman isn't around whenever Bruce Wayne isn't, and then have him reappear as soon as he returns to the city."

"Riiight. You do remember Bruce Wayne and Batman are the _same person,_ and that person is _you,_ right?" Tony asked with a lopsided smile. "Still, you could have gone out yesterday or even today. Not that I'm complaining or anything," He added as an afterthought.

Bruce rubbed his forehead with his fingertips, "We need to talk."

Tony shot him a wary look. "Okay. Should I put my suit back on and get my suitcase ready?"

"What?"

"Come on, sweet cheeks! Everyone knows that 'we need to talk' crap is how the break-up talks always start."

Bruce blinked. "You want to break up?"

"Uh, no?"

"Good. Neither do I, but there's something important we need to talk about."

"Alright," Tony agreed warily.

As Bruce dropped back into his chair with a sigh, he watched Tony pull closer the vacant swiveling chair and flop into it. The newcomer remained surprisingly silent, looking at Bruce's face expectantly.

"I had a strange encounter while I was in Florida. A man was waiting for me in the car when I left the function. A man with an eye patch," He added.

"Fury," Tony identified unnecessarily. "What did he want?"

"He knows I'm Batman."

Tony sat up straight at the words, staring at him with eyes wide and mouth ajar. "It wasn't me. I swear!"

"I know," Bruce said wryly, surprised by the reaction. He couldn't deny the thought crossed his mind, but he dismissed it just as quickly as it came. In spite of all appearances to the contrary, Tony knew how to keep a secret when it truly mattered.

He eyed him warily. "What did you do?"

Bruce cleared his throat and didn't look at Tony's eyes as he replied, "I- laughed in his face."

"You did what!?"

"You heard me," Bruce growled only half-heartedly.

"My god, you're serious. Eyepatch exposed your beloved secret identity and you burst out laughing. You just- wow ..." Tony trailed off laughing. "What happened? No, wait! How did he react?"

"He wasn't pleased."

Tony snorted. "Of course he wasn't. Damn it! Why did it have to happen while I wasn't around? I wish I had been there to see his face."

Bruce shot him a glare.

"Right. This is serious business." It was Tony's turn to clear his throat and turn serious. "What did you do? After laughing in his face," He couldn't help but add with a smirk.

"I admit to nothing, of course. I kept acting as if I had no idea what he was talking about, but I don't think I was able to fully convince him."

Tony nodded slowly. "Wait! That's what that weird call from you complaining about a prank was about?"

"Yes," Bruce admitted. "I asked him if you sent him."

"So I granted, but why?"

"I may have mentioned that weird sexual fascination you have with the Batman," Bruce admitted with a coy little smile.

"Oh my god! You told him I want to fuck you in the suit!?"

"Something like that,"

"God, I love you. Oh! Oh! Can I play too, please? I wanna play with Nicky-boy too. It's not fair that you get all the fun," He whined. "I wanna tell him all about the roleplaying we do in the bedroom. I can even tell him I've fucked you dressed like his beloved Cap! God, just imagine the look on his face!"

"You're an idiot," Bruce told him with an affectionate tug of his lips.

"Nuh-uh. I'm just a dedicated man who seizes every opportunity that comes his way."

"Of course," Bruce responded dryly.

"You're taking this awfully well," Tony noted after a moment of silence.

Bruce sighed. Again. He had no idea how many times he had done that since this conversation started. "As much as it pains me to admit it, this isn't exactly unexpected and there's nothing I can do to change it."

Tony eyed him amused. "Alright. What's the plan?"

"Plan?"

"Please! You would be acting all broody and angsty if you didn't already have a plan to handle this. So, I ask again: What's the plan?"

"I called Clark,"

"Great! What's he gonna do exactly, huh?" He asked. "Write an article stating all the reasons why Bruce Wayne cannot be the Batman or what?"

"Actually, he's going to impersonate him."

"You can't be serious!" Tony exclaimed.

Bruce's eyebrows went up. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You can't be seriously telling me you're gonna let _Kent_ put on your suit and use all your cool toys. No way."

"They aren't toys," Bruce growled. "And since he can't pretend to be Batman without them, yes, I'm letting him use my gadgets."

Tony gave him an incredulous look. "I can't fucking believe this. You're honestly letting the alien play dress up as Batman when you don't even let me take the Batmobile out for a spin?"

"I've told you to stop calling it that," Bruce reproached. "Besides, you have a flight suit, not to mention plenty of fast cars at your disposal."

"It's not the same."

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. He honestly couldn't understand what was so fascinating about the Bat- _the tumbler._ Even Clark was impressed by it and had asked for a ride on a couple of occasions. The man could fly, for fuck's sake!

"I'm not happy with this either, okay? But it's the best chance I have to try to dissipate the suspicions about Batman's identity."

"Why did you call him?"

"I just told you-"

"No," Tony cut him off. "I mean, why didn't you wait until we talked it over before calling him?"

Bruce pressed his lips together, very deliberately holding back the impulse to tell Tony he didn't have to inform him of every decision he made or even ask for his permission. He had a feeling that wasn't what this was about.

"Alright. We're talking it over now. Got any ideas how to handle this? Ideas that don't involve declaring to the world I'm Batman and hope for the best," Bruce added dryly.

"That's an excellent idea, actually, but I don't want you to steal my schtick." Tony eyes light up just a second later. "I know! Why don't I just build you a Bat-bot? We could even leave him in charge while you take a vacation with me. How does that sound?"

"Of course. That's an excellent idea. I can't even begin to list _all_ the things wrong with it."

"Pleaseee! It's a great idea! Can you imagine how amazing it could be to have a Bat-bot? We'll even record your weird Bat-growl to go along with him so nobody notices the difference."

Bruce shot him a look. "Can you act like an adult for five seconds?"

"Fine! Why did you have to call him?"

... and they were back to that. "I don't know, maybe because he's invulnerable and has super strength."

"Last time I checked Batman didn't have either of these," Tony pointed out.

"You're right, but he has years of training under his belt that allow him to do what he does. Besides, who else was I supposed to call? In case you haven't noticed I don't have many people I can trust with this, and even if I did, I would never put any of them at risk for my own gain."

Bruce didn't look away from the billionaire even as he stayed silent.

"Fine! I get it. The guy is super, yadda yadda." Tony huffed, arms crossed over his chest. "Let's just hope he doesn't punch some poor thug through a wall or something like that."

The corner of Bruce's lips tugged upward. In spite of the tone and the words, he knew Tony understood and supported his decision, even if he wasn’t going to admit it.

"And now I expect you to let me ride it too."

"Are we still talking about the tumbler?" Bruce asked coyly, dark eyelashes batting.

"Well, sweet cheeks, considering I already get the pleasure of riding you, then yes, we're talking about the car."

"Hmm. Maybe you can persuade me to let you."

"I need to persuade you, huh? And how do you suggest I do that?" Tony asked, letting his socked feet move up and down Bruce's ankle.

Bruce shrugged his shoulders. "You're a very creative man. I'm sure you will think of something."

He shuddered as he felt Tony's feet slid higher until it came to rest on his lap, probing gently at his hardening member through the cloth. Bruce wrapped a hand around the other man's ankle, caressing rather than restricting as he relaxed under his touch.

It didn't take long for the feet to be replaced by Tony's skilled hands, teasing and stroking with a feathered touch of his fingers, making Bruce melt under his touch, and causing him to forget all about SHIELD and Nick Fury.

Tony had always been good at making him forget things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Tony isn't a fan of Superman. Or, more to the point, he isn't a fan of his boyfriend being friends with the seemingly perfect handsome alien. ;) It must be pretty intimidating, but then again, Bruce _of course_ feels the same way about Tony's friends. So, the only thing they can do is trust each other.
> 
> And sorry about the delay! I was supposed to post this sooner, but well. Stuff happened. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and thank you for reading!


End file.
